I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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