She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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