remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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