Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So many bounce houses so little time
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize