In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize