the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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