Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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