I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize