ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize