I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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