I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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