On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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