I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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