Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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