my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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