You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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