you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
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Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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