But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
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my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
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Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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