your thong is hanging out like whoa
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He felt like a one man threesome
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize