ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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