The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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