a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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