Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
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how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
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I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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