i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize