Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
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