After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
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we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
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Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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