Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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