you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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