Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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