i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize