Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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