Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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