the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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