I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize