i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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