You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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