I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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