why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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