If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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