I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize