Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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