wanna go halves on a baby?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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