Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I want to walk on stilts...naked
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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