she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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