I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
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