You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
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He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
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I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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