You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize