He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he thought i was a dude.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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