Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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