I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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