ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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